Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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