we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
