i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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