i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
