I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I want to be your penis for a week.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
