OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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