He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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