Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
