All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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