come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
