we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
