Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
