he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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