Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
