Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
