dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I met the friendliest cop last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
