Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
