pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
