i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
