I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
