so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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