Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
