Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
