He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
