I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
