Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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