He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
