wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
