Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
