So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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