yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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