somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
