3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
