Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
