i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
