Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
