Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
