Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
