your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
