roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
