I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
