i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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