Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
