she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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