Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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