OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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