I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
