Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
