his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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