Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
is it fun? or sober?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
