I wanna bring you to show and tell
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize